Struggling with God's Grace-Find A Prayer For Healing

I have always struggled as a writer, as in any profession, to find that balance of remaining firm in the faith and being able to feed one’s self. This is my attempt to see if my process in writing can further cultivate my relationship with God and others and hopefully become a writer who can share what it means to be a practicing Catholic today.

My journey starts when I encouraged students when writing a fiction story for the page or stage,  I asked them to make sure to ask, do their characters believe in God. They looked at me as if they never had bothered to ask  that question or maybe it wasn't relevant.  I'm not sure.  Yet, that look led me to  book note that question, as I realized, maybe some writers don't ask this question when writing. I ask myself that question all the time, especially when I am creating characters and the audience I am addressing.

With this idea in mind, I decided to share my process as a writer. It is my hope to become a better Catholic Writer, who is rooted in her relationship with Christ and His Church. 

ASH WEDNESDAY

Blessed Ash Wednesday. The start of Lent. Lent is a blessed time to reflect on one’s relationship with God and others. This year, I hope to reflect on the many gifts God has given me and share how I create stories and where I draw inspiration. May my journey help anyone feeling the yearning to know God and want to open their heart to God this year. Here are some questions I ask, of course in my personal reflection, when I build my characters for the page or stage. 

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

• Do you believe in God because someone told or taught you that? 
• Is it because it makes you feel good inside, providing comfort? 
• Do you believe in God because it gives you structure? 
• Do you know that God loves you?

Week 1

Perhaps this question occurred when I read and watched ‘Waiting for Godot’ but it is a key question I ask when  writing fiction.  It is a challenging question to ask, but it is one that I found I cannot answer. I can’t imagine what life would look like without God. Yet, if you read or watch some science fiction, a life without God is truly a scary place. Here are other questions.  I hope it helps you on your Lenten Journey:

• Do you want to live your life with God or without? 
• Would we know who we are?
• How would the world function?
• How important is my relationship with God?

Week 2

The relationship we have with God and others is important. Anything I have ever written comes back to relationships. After creating characters as individuals, I look at their relationship with the other characters. With my main characters I ask, is this the relationship God wants for them? For us? I hope these questions, as they have helped me create stories and reflect on my life, help you reflect on your relationships.

• Does God want this relationship for me?
• Is it a toxic relationship or healthy one?
• If it is toxic, why can't I break free from it?  
• Who makes me feel loved and draws me closer to how God sees me?
• Which relationships do I need to end?

 Week 3

Have you ever been part of a conversation when all of a sudden you are around people who have no understanding of Catholics or the faith? Maybe you are the type who is afraid to talk about God. Who wouldn’t? Recently, you feel like you are in defence mode as if you have all the answers and need to apologize and explain Church teachings. Perhaps this is where being a writer comes in handy.

As a writer, writing helps to organize my thoughts in case I have to be in defence mode. As well as finding those moments where you can pray and ask the difficult questions and wait for the Holy Spirit to guide your pen to write the answer. I found that Lent is great time to start journalling. I have tried ‘Momento Mori’. The Cover is scary, but inside a treasure of wisdom. I look back on those reflections, and characters just jump from the page. Now only does it help put my life in order, but It helps to create real characters from my own experience. It is easier to see the journey you are having with God and the courage to talk to Him with others. When I think of it, the best stories are about the journey one has with God. The beauty is, when you do share your work with others, your witness becomes real. You find that the Holy Spirit gives you the courage and words to do it. Here are some more questions that arise from the “Why can’t I talk about God with others?”

• What are you afraid of, to be judged or challenged or realize you don’t know anything?
• What would happen if I shared my experience or relationship with God?
• What would happen if I was honest with others about my feelings and thoughts? Would I realize that God loves me, but I am also love and respected by others?

 Week 4

The moment you realize God is real, you can’t believe what is happening to you. You are filled with utter joy and sorrow. A joy you never knew existed and a sorrow to realize your life through the eyes of God. One realizes their error in judgement and, more painful, the sins you committed against God. Yet, the joy that accompanies it, is found in God’s mercy. Consider, despite your human weakness and brokenness, God's love remains constant. You realize that you are loved for who you are. In my fiction work, this is what I try to convey in my stories. I want to show how God reveals Himself through His presence in the Eucharist, and in others. I am excited to see where that revelation takes my characters and in real life. Simply, one is floored and moved to change their life. They revaluate their life according to God’s will and find that in the struggles and suffering of life, joy remains and is always found in the end. I hope all of you during this Lent have had that eye opening moment and if not, keep praying and remain faithful as God works on a different level of time. Till then, I hope these questions help you out. These are the same one’s I use when building characters.

-Who are people who show me who God is and who he is not?

-When I realize God is real what do I see in myself? Sinner? Saint? Work in Progress?

-Where is God leading me now?

Week 5

It has been said that when people asked Mother Theresa what they could do, she would point to a patient or person and tell them to sit and wait with that person, they will tell you what to do. Sometimes, we think we are supposed to solve someone’s problems or literally feed the poor. What we forget is to see Christ in them and focus on the aid verses person. We forget to hear Christ through them as we tell them what they need As a writer, I like to have those moments where characters realize who Christ is in their life. They realize, maybe we need to listen, wait, and if necessary guide them to see Christ or be guided. Here are the questions I use to help figure out those moments in my work or discover who these characters are to the main one.

--Where is the place you go to find the peace when you feel life is unbearable?

--Who is that person who listens, prays with you, and then responds to what they hear?

--When did you feel sorrow and were not afraid to face it?

Week 6

 Usually, I have my characters come to the point where they must make a decision. They can either move forward or remain where they are in life. I think once we have encountered Christ or witnessed God’s grace, the question always remains, what now? It is a bold question to ask God, because to follow takes an abundance amount of faith. I hope during this Lenten season, the Holy Spirit has guided you and helped to deepen your relationship with God. As I write, be it for fiction or non-fiction, be it in my personal reflections I know these questions are easy to ask, but when you get the answer, you do need to be enflamed with the Holy Spirit to follow. Just imagine the questions the disciples asked on the night of the Last Supper as Jesus was sentenced and died on the cross, and was buried.  

Here are the questions. Have a great Triduum and Blessed Easter Celebration!  

--Where is God leading me? If I follow, will I be ready for what is to come?

--I know what I need to do, but am I ready to follow and give up the things which keep me from really committing to God?

--If God only wants the best for me, who are the people who want it for me and who are the people who don’t? Do I have let go of those relationships?